using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
