I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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