Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize