Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
