so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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