You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize