actually, I'm a sock model
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
