He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize