When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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