Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
