All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Vodka?
Forever.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
