Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize