evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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