So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
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