I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
