can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You ruined the universe
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize