Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
