That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize