Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
