You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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