no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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