Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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