Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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