Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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