guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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