And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
