I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
whose parrot is this?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
