He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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