he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize