So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize