I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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