Where is the hickey?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
