He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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