well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
