Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
