"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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