But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
