my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
