the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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