She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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