I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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