Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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