How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize