happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You smell like a Billy Joel song
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
