He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I would ride that face into the sunset
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
