No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
