babies were throwing up all over the place
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
