3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
