Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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