I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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