So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
