I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
