Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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