What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize