I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
