Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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