I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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