Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
