Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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