Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
