my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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