Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
