You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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