Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
