My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
