A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
