Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Too much gin, very little bucket
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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