Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
