I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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